Genre: YA Contemporary
Publisher: Harper Collins/Balzer + Bray
Publication Date: February 10th, 2015
Edition: Hardcover Pages: 304
Acquired: Books of Wonder
Purchase: Book Depository
My Rating: ★★★★★ (5 stars)
Trigger Warning: suicide, depression
SYNOPSIS:
Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.
There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution: a teen boy with the username FrozenRobot (aka Roman) who’s haunted by a family tragedy is looking for a partner.
Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. Except that Roman may not be so easy to convince. (book synopsis from goodreads)
There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution: a teen boy with the username FrozenRobot (aka Roman) who’s haunted by a family tragedy is looking for a partner.
Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. Except that Roman may not be so easy to convince. (book synopsis from goodreads)
MY THOUGHTS
My impression upon finishing this book can be represented by one word: incredible! The writing, the characters, the plot, the emotion... all of it was wonderful and perfect. It is hard to say you love and enjoyed a book with such a heavy topic as the main focus of the book but I did. The reading experience for this book was light and heavy at the same time and the emotion was so raw it was like being inside Asyel's mind.
This book starts off depressing because Aysel is depressed. She is living in a huge shadow cast by her father's missteps and doesn't know how she can escape it. She has walled off or been pushed away from people and even her own family has a hard time reaching out to her. The emotion of this book and Aysel's narration is scary. You kind of get sucked into her depression and even though I can't connect to her situation I can empathize because I know what it is like to be talked about and judged by people, doesn't every one? At least a little bit? Aysel's narration is also scary because it is so believable and natural. Nothing about this book seemed forced or over done. The progression of the story pulled me deeper into the black hole it had quickly become and I let it because I was so enthralled by the intricate web of words, actions, and moments Warga has crafted.
I am sure after reading that paragraph you are wondering "if this was a depressing book and it made you so sad why did you give it 5 stars?" Well you have to read for yourself but here is what I can tell you.
This book starts off depressing because Aysel is depressed. She is living in a huge shadow cast by her father's missteps and doesn't know how she can escape it. She has walled off or been pushed away from people and even her own family has a hard time reaching out to her. The emotion of this book and Aysel's narration is scary. You kind of get sucked into her depression and even though I can't connect to her situation I can empathize because I know what it is like to be talked about and judged by people, doesn't every one? At least a little bit? Aysel's narration is also scary because it is so believable and natural. Nothing about this book seemed forced or over done. The progression of the story pulled me deeper into the black hole it had quickly become and I let it because I was so enthralled by the intricate web of words, actions, and moments Warga has crafted.
I am sure after reading that paragraph you are wondering "if this was a depressing book and it made you so sad why did you give it 5 stars?" Well you have to read for yourself but here is what I can tell you.
- This book has 5 stars because of Aysel and Roman. Their friendship, though born from a mutual desire to end their lives, is a beautiful thing and they learn so much about each other and themselves from their relationship. Aysel's science nerd-ness was fun for me as well. Plus I just want to hug them both so hard.
- This book has 5 stars because of Tyler and Mike. They both have small inklings that something is up with Aysel and though they don't come at her head on they both make her think about her decisions.
- This book has 5 stars because of the ending. Oh my gosh, the ending. No tears were formed but my eyes were prickly and I just can't even with the ending. It was done extremely well. I can't say more.
- This book has 5 stars because of the Author Note at the end. I could already tell that Jasmine had put her heart and soul into this book but the author note sealed it.
We have all been in a bad place at some point in our life in some way, shape or form. You may have lost someone, or felt alone, or any number of other reasons that may have made you feel less than someone else. Aysel and Roman's stories show you just how deep depression can go and how it can affect your choices and ultimately your life. The way their story unfolded gave me as the reader a chance to experience what it might be like to be lost in my own life like Aysel and Roman felt. This book will humble you, it will ground you and make you take a step back to inventory the people in your life and how they affect you. Being able to talk to someone and having people who care for you is a wonderful thing.
I know that this book will not be for everyone. The subject matter of this book makes it hard to read but it must be read by those who are willing. This book has made me reflect on my role in my own life as well as the lives around me. My Heart and Other Black Holes is a destructively beautiful book and my heart aches for the characters and more importantly the real people throughout the world that are going through similar situations. I hope that this book will bring forth more people that are willing to be a pillar of support to those who need it.
“Depression is like a heaviness that you can’t ever escape. It crushes down on you, making even the smallest things like tying your shoes or chewing on toast seem like a twenty-mile hike uphill. Depression is a part of you; it’s in your bones and your blood.”
I hope that my review will convince you to read "My Heart..." if you can, because I think it offers a unique perspective on mental illness that people should experience. If you have read and found new perspectives through Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick, The Shock of the Fall by Nathan Filler, or Looking for Alaska by John Green then I would highly recommend My Heart and Other Black Holes.
No comments:
Post a Comment