My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga

Genre: YA Contemporary
Publisher: Harper Collins/Balzer + Bray
Publication Date: February 10th, 2015
Edition: Hardcover Pages: 304
Acquired: Books of Wonder
Purchase: Book Depository

My Rating: ★★★★★ (5 stars) 

Trigger Warning: suicide, depression

SYNOPSIS: 

Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution: a teen boy with the username FrozenRobot (aka Roman) who’s haunted by a family tragedy is looking for a partner. 

Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. Except that Roman may not be so easy to convince. (book synopsis from goodreads)

MY THOUGHTS

My impression upon finishing this book can be represented by one word: incredible! The writing, the characters, the plot, the emotion... all of it was wonderful and perfect. It is hard to say you love and enjoyed a book with such a heavy topic as the main focus of the book but I did. The reading experience for this book was light and heavy at the same time and the emotion was so raw it was like being inside Asyel's mind.

This book starts off depressing because Aysel is depressed. She is living in a huge shadow cast by her father's missteps and doesn't know how she can escape it. She has walled off or been pushed away from people and even her own family has a hard time reaching out to her. The emotion of this book and Aysel's narration is scary. You kind of get sucked into her depression and even though I can't connect to her situation I can empathize because I know what it is like to be talked about and judged by people, doesn't every one? At least a little bit? Aysel's narration is also scary because it is so believable and natural. Nothing about this book seemed forced or over done. The progression of the story pulled me deeper into the black hole it had quickly become and I let it because I was so enthralled by the intricate web of words, actions, and moments Warga has crafted.

I am sure after reading that paragraph you are wondering "if this was a depressing book and it made you so sad why did you give it 5 stars?" Well you have to read for yourself but here is what I can tell you.

• This book has 5 stars because of Aysel and Roman. Their friendship, though born from a mutual desire to end their lives, is a beautiful thing and they learn so much about each other and themselves from their relationship. Aysel's science nerd-ness was fun for me as well. Plus I just want to hug them both so hard. 
• This book has 5 stars because of Tyler and Mike. They both have small inklings that something is up with Aysel and though they don't come at her head on they both make her think about her decisions. 
• This book has 5 stars because of the ending. Oh my gosh, the ending. No tears were formed but my eyes were prickly and I just can't even with the ending. It was done extremely well. I can't say more. 
• This book has 5 stars because of the Author Note at the end. I could already tell that Jasmine had put her heart and soul into this book but the author note sealed it. 

We have all been in a bad place at some point in our life in some way, shape or form. You may have lost someone, or felt alone, or any number of other reasons that may have made you feel less than someone else. Aysel and Roman's stories show you just how deep depression can go and how it can affect your choices and ultimately your life. The way their story unfolded gave me as the reader a chance to experience what it might be like to be lost in my own life like Aysel and Roman felt. This book will humble you, it will ground you and make you take a step back to inventory the people in your life and how they affect you. Being able to talk to someone and having people who care for you is a wonderful thing. 

I know that this book will not be for everyone. The subject matter of this book makes it hard to read but it must be read by those who are willing. This book has made me reflect on my role in my own life as well as the lives around me. My Heart and Other Black Holes is a destructively beautiful book and my heart aches for the characters and more importantly the real people throughout the world that are going through similar situations. I hope that this book will bring forth more people that are willing to be a pillar of support to those who need it.

“Depression is like a heaviness that you can’t ever escape. It crushes down on you, making even the smallest things like tying your shoes or chewing on toast seem like a twenty-mile hike uphill. Depression is a part of you; it’s in your bones and your blood.” 

I hope that my review will convince you to read "My Heart..." if you can, because I think it offers a unique perspective on mental illness that people should experience. If you have read and found new perspectives through Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick, The Shock of the Fall by Nathan Filler, or Looking for Alaska by John Green then I would highly recommend My Heart and Other Black Holes.

Bookish Things: Unread Books (#1)

Introduction

In an attempt to make this blog more than just reviews I am starting a new segment called "Bookish Things" where I talk about different bookish topics and my take on them. The topics I have planned so far are: My Reading Journey, eBooks vs. Hard Copies, Book Covers, and Annotations. I am hoping that this can become a regular addition to my other posts and that my viewers will suggest new topics for me to write about!

Bookish Things: Unread Books

I thought this would be an interesting topic because if you don't know I own over 700 books (rough count). Of those 700 I may have read about 300 books. Yes, I currently have more unread books than read books on my shelf (obviously this only accounts for books that I own, I have read more than 300 books in my 24 years).

Some people may be outraged by this, "Why would you keep buying books if you can't read them right away?" you say? Well that is easy. Buying books for me, and book shopping in general, is therapeutic for me. I enjoy it, and the books when I eventually read them. I can not deny myself the simple (but expensive) pleasure of buying books when I want to. It's fun and I love my collection of books. I have to give mad props to the people who can buy a stack of books and read them before buying another stack of books. That takes some serious will power and I just don't have it.

Another question that has probably crossed your mind is "Do you buy them all new?" No, I do receive some books as gifts but I buy most of my books from library sales, bargain outlets, or used book stores. When I do buy new books I try to purchase from independent book shops in my community rather than supporting big chains. Sometimes supporting Amazon, Book Depository, or Barnes and Noble is inevitable depending on the book I am looking for.

Finally I am sure some people are thinking "how do you plan to read all of these books?" I don't know. I just pick a book that I want to read at the moment and go with it! Sometimes it may be a reread but for the most part I focus on books that are unread. I hope I can read all of the books that I currently own as soon as I can but I can't really guarantee that. It all depends on my tastes and moods at the time. Will I get rid of books that I don't have interest in anymore? Most likely. I don't want to hold onto a book that someone else could be enjoying but as long as it still holds my interest then it will be read eventually.

I buy books to support the author. If there is an author I love I will purchase all the books I can by them even if I can't read them right away.

I do have some plans to curb my purchasing of books to only books I am extremely excited about and the subscription books I get from Owl Crate and The Book Drop. Obviously I am not going to stop buying books or ban myself from them for an extended amount of time (some girls have shoe shopping, my form of retail therapy is book shopping) because I seriously enjoy getting books. I am not ashamed of my TBR pile, it is a glorious mountain!

How do you feel about your unread books? Share in the comments below.

Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon

Genre: Contemporary
Publisher: Delacorte Press
Publication Date: September 1st, 2015
Edition: ARC Pages: 307
Acquired: received through local bookstore
Purchase: Book Depository

My Rating: ★★★★★ (5 stars) 

FTC Disclosure: I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

SYNOPSIS: 

My disease is as rare as it is famous. Basically, I’m allergic to the world. I don’t leave my house, have not left my house in seventeen years. The only people I ever see are my mom and my nurse, Carla.

But then one day, a moving truck arrives next door. I look out my window, and I see him. He’s tall, lean and wearing all black—black T-shirt, black jeans, black sneakers, and a black knit cap that covers his hair completely. He catches me looking and stares at me. I stare right back. His name is Olly.

Maybe we can’t predict the future, but we can predict some things. For example, I am certainly going to fall in love with Olly. It’s almost certainly going to be a disaster. (book synopsis from goodreads)

MY THOUGHTS

OH MY WORD! This book! It had me laughing, it had me “aww” ing, and most importantly it had me riveted to my seat! I read this book in the matter of a few hours!

Madeline has an immune disease that makes it impossible for her to leave her house for fear that she might come in contact with one of her triggers that could very well kill her, and though she has learned to be tolerant and zen about it she still yearns for the outside world. This yearning is turned into overdrive when Olly moves in next door and nothing is the same afterward.

Half way through the book I was thinking “aw this book is so cute” Maddy and Olly’s relationship magnifies in front of your eyes and you can’t help but to be completely engrossed in the entire thing. It is almost like you are seeing the world for the first time just like Maddy. Maddy’s condition has had her locked in her house with only books to comfort her and to give her the adventure she couldn’t experience otherwise. If you are bookish you will relate with Maddy on a very emotional level. 

Maddy is so innocent and sassy and you get a really good fell for this throughout the novel in the instant messages, drawings, book spoilers, and personal dictionary entries. Yes, the romance is a bit insta-lovey but honestly it really fits Maddy’s character. This book has it’s inconsistencies but I think it is intentional because Maddy is our narrator and her perspective is completely different from what we would perceive as outsiders. I also wish we got a better understanding of what SCID is and why everything had to be white and what triggers Maddy has. Again, I think this is somewhat due to Maddy’s narration and the way her perspective is presented to the reader.

After you get over the cuteness you realize this book has a much deeper connotation to it and WHOA! I’m not usually one to talk about a plot twist but this book has a particularly fantastic one and was in a very interesting direction. This book took me by surprise and I loved every second of it!

MUCH RECOMMEND

I’d recommend this to anyone who enjoys YA lit! Everything, Everything is wonderfully written and was so much more than I expected! Also this book could definitely satisfy anyone who is on a diverse book kick because this book confronts illness and Maddy is multiracial. This book seems like it will be one that will have some mixed reviews (it already does) but I really think that everyone that is intrigued by the synopsis should read the story because it will throw you through a loop and draw you in to Maddy’s life. Please pick this book up and give it a go!

The Rise and the Fall of a Theater Geek by Seth Rudetsky

Genre: YA Contemporary

Publisher: Random House Books for Young Readers 

Publication Date: June 23rd, 2015

Edition: eARC Pages: ?

Purchase: Book Depository
Rating: ★★★★ (4/5 stars)

FTC Disclosure: I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

Summary

The shows, the neon lights . . . the cute chorus boys! It's where Justin has always wanted to be--and now, with a winter internship for a famous actor, he finally has his chance to shine. If only he could ditch his kind, virtuous, upright, and--dare he say it?—uptight boyfriend, Spencer. But once the internship begins, Justin has more to worry about than a cramped single-guy-in-the-city style. Instead of having his moment in the spotlight, he's a not-so-glorified errand boy. Plus, Spencer is hanging out with a celebra-hottie, Justin's best friend Becky isn't speaking to him, and his famous actor boss seems headed for flopdom. Justin's tap-dancing as fast as he can, but all his wit and sass might not be enough to switch his time in New York from nightmare-terrible to dream-come-true terrific (goodreads).

What I Thought

This book had a rocky start for me. The main character Justin is pretentious and annoying at times and reminded me a lot of first season Rachel from Glee. The good thing is that the book got better. Justin is an openly gay teenager with a boyfriend and is very comfortable in his own skin. I like that this book didn't focus on Justin's sexuality. Justin is out and honest about who he is and crushes on boys just as hard as any teen girl would.

Justin also has great friends that complement his ostentatious personality. Spencer and Becky are the friends that take no crap, they make Justin see how controlling and manipulative he is and call him out for it. This is where things get even better.

Justin has to participate in an internship to earn credit towards graduation. Being the theater geek that he is Justin secures a Broadway internship for him and his friends with different companies. Justin furthers his rise in Broadway when he randomly meets a rising star at a musical and decides to intern for him.

The internships aren't what any of the three friends thought they would be but through it all Justin learns how to control himself and be a better friend, solves a mystery, and got the Broadway internship of his dreams..

If you love Broadway, mystery, shenanigans, or just want a fun and fluffy read I would say give this book a shot! 

Talon by Julie Kagawa

Genre: YA Urban Fantasy

Publisher: Harlequin Teen

Publication Date: October 28th, 2014

Edition: Audio Book Pages: 449

Purchase: Book Depository
Rating: ★★★★ (4/5 stars)

Summary

Long ago, dragons were hunted to near extinction by the Order of St. George, a legendary society of dragon slayers. Hiding in human form and growing their numbers in secret, the dragons of Talon have become strong and cunning, and they're positioned to take over the world with humans none the wiser.

Ember and Dante Hill are the only sister and brother known to dragonkind. Trained to infiltrate society, Ember wants to live the teen experience and enjoy a summer of freedom before taking her destined place in Talon. But destiny is a matter of perspective, and a rogue dragon will soon challenge everything Ember has been taught. As Ember struggles to accept her future, she and her brother are hunted by the Order of St. George.

Soldier Garret Xavier Sebastian has a mission to seek and destroy all dragons, and Talon's newest recruits in particular. But he cannot kill unless he is certain he has found his prey: and nothing is certain about Ember Hill. Faced with Ember's bravery, confidence and all-too-human desires, Garret begins to question everything that the Order has ingrained in him: and what he might be willing to give up to find the truth about dragons (goodreads).

What I Thought

The gist of this book is simple, one group of people hate the other group of people and they fight each other to the death to keep living their lives. One of these groups happen to be made of dragons that masquerade as humans to survive, pretty simple right? Not when you throw two teenage dragons out into the human world knowing nothing about human emotions but they watched a heck of a lot of TV to be able to reference pop culture like NCIS. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed this book but it was kind of contradictory at times when Ember was interacting with people and the things that went through her head. 

Seriously though, this book was hilarious! Ember and Garret take turns narrating their sides of the singular story of the rivalry between Talon and St. George. I really enjoyed the audio book for this book particularly because they had two different voice actors for Ember and Garret and they portrayed the characters so well. There are some interesting twists and turns and some silly, witty dialogue that is just fun to read.

I would recommend this book as a guilty pleasure/ light and fluffy read, it is practically a contemporary novel. I thoroughly enjoyed it and it was fast paced and hysterical just how blind Ember and Garret can be to everything they experience but I think that is what makes this book great. There is a bit of romance, brother/sister rivalry, and surfing mixed in to make this one very interesting and thoroughly enjoyable read. I am definitely going to read on through the series!

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

Genre: YA/NA Fantasy/Retelling

Publisher: Bloomsbury

Publication Date: May 5th, 2015

Edition: Hardcover Pages: 416

Purchase: Book Depository
Rating: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars)

Summary

When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a beast-like creature arrives to demand retribution for it. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she only knows about from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not an animal, but Tamlin—one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled their world.

As she dwells on his estate, her feelings for Tamlin transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie and warning she's been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But an ancient, wicked shadow grows over the faerie lands, and Feyre must find a way to stop it... or doom Tamlin—and his world—forever (goodreads).

What I Thought

A Court of Thorns and Roses was such a fantastic read! If you are a fan of Beauty and the Beast retellings then this is an awesome book for you. Feyre is not provincial french woman with a brutish man pining after her. She is the Katniss of her family, she hunts for food for her family so they can survive. Her sisters are mild versions of Cinderella's stepsisters and don't help out much with providing for their family. Feyre shoulders all of the responsibility for her distant sisters, her wounded father, and herself because of a promise she made to her mother. When out hunting one day Feyre comes across a wolf like creature and has to kill him or be killed. Feyre's murder of the wolf (Faerie) has brought another faerie to her doorstep with an ultimatum: cross to the faerie realm to never return to the mortal lands or die. Feyre begs for her family's well being and is then whisked away by Tamlin back to the Spring Court that he calls home. The main plot of this book is Feyre's introduction to the Faerie Courts and the Fae culture with a bit of mischief, nefarious creatures, and a Faerie that is plaguing her own people.

As with Sarah's other series (Throne of Glass) I love her writing style in this book. It is a style that I can't read fast but rather I enjoy 'drinking in' slowly. Feyre has a lovely artistic eye and her descriptions are beautiful. I love how this story progresses and how Feyre grows as a character. She can be a bit timid and whiny at times but she really grows into herself and finally allows herself to be expressive and take charge of herself, even if it still gets her into loads of trouble. I was not disappointed by this book at all, the world is crafted well, the characters are wonderful (Tamlin and Lucien *heart eyes*), and the romance is kind of hilarious to me. The romance is a bit "instalovey" but I still like how it happened because it was funny! The Fae element of this book is so interesting and unique.

I want so much more! This book set up what will surely be an amazing series with a great cast of characters! Besides there is a giant library that any of us book lovers would want and gorgeously detailed paintings and murals. This books is fantastic and I would recommend to anyone who loves a good YA fantasy or Beauty and the Beast like stories.

Another Day by David Levithan

Genre: YA Contemporary/Magical Realism

Publisher: Knopf Books

Publication Date: August 25th 2015

Edition: ARC Pages: 300

Purchase: Book Depository
Rating: ★★★ (3/5 stars)

FTC Disclosure: I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

Summary

Every day is the same for Rhiannon. She has accepted her life, convinced herself that she deserves her distant, temperamental boyfriend, Justin, even established guidelines by which to live: Don’t be too needy. Avoid upsetting him. Never get your hopes up.

Until the morning everything changes. Justin seems to see her, to want to be with her for the first time, and they share a perfect day—a perfect day Justin doesn’t remember the next morning. Confused, depressed, and desperate for another day as great as that one, Rhiannon starts questioning everything. Then, one day, a stranger tells her that the Justin she spent that day with, the one who made her feel like a real person . . . wasn’t Justin at all (goodreads).

What I Thought

***This review SPOILS parts of Every Day the first novel in the companion series

Do NOT continue if you haven't read Every Day Go here for my review of Every Day***

What can I say about Another Day? Was it interesting to read? Yes. Was it mind blowing-ly awesome? Not quite. If you don't already know Another Day is the retelling of the events of Every Day from Rhiannon's point of view. If you don't know who Rhiannon is, or what Every Day is about I suggest you go read that first.

Let me preface this by saying that I read Every Day and Another Day back to back and I don't recommend doing that. Why? Mainly because it was kind of boring to rehash the same events from a very slight change of perspective.

Honestly I feel like they should make a compilation book and mesh Every Day and Another Day together where the chapters alternate between perspectives because I found myself going back and rereading A's accounts anyways. I think this companion novel would have been better if it started instead where it ended and continued the story from there when Rhiannon decides to try and find A.

This book wasn't a complete disappointment though, I promise! I still really enjoyed reading it and I found parts of what Rhiannon was going through to be really interesting especially the days that A doesn't see her. I would love to know more about her family and her friends (Preston is my favorite!) but she isn't a completely 3 dimensional character that could stand on her own, at least not well enough to stand next to A, her narrative just fell a little flat.

All in all this book did what Levithan set out to do, answer the question of what it would be like to know someone who switched bodies every day. This book was fun to read as a huge fan of the first book but it wasn't compelling enough to stand alone like a companion novel should. I would definitely recommend this to those who really are interested in Rhiannon's POV.